How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
