their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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