Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
