Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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