Where is the hickey?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
