Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
