check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
