i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
