dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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