You're completely useless in the revolution.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
