She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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