ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
