So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
