I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
