Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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