We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
