What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Randomize
