I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You took a bar mat shot.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
