God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
