you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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