One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
