i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This house was built for laser tag.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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