Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
