just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
