If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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