how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry about my life...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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