I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
