It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
