You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yo dont text me then not text me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
