You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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