I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
