He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
