i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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