Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
