He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
