I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
