Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
