i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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