i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
