the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
