Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm really busy with my period
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