walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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