I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
