You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
why do cheetos always look like penises
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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