Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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