first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
