I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
