If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
