u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
