If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
